This past week I have had one of my videos go globally viral – 30 million views and counting!
Can you believe it?
The video is from a talk I gave at a conference for the Commonwealth Bank at their Wired for Wonder conference. In the video I tell the story of an experience I had with my eldest daughter who missed out on a party because her friends knew she wouldn’t be comfortable there with some of the ‘activities’ that were going on.
My daughter was questioning the rules she had been a part of setting up. She was sad. She felt isolated. So we discussed the situation and I handed the decision-making over to her. In that moment, my daughter told me she didn’t ‘like the rules… but they’re good rules. We should keep them.’
I make the point explicitly in the video:
Great relationships encourage autonomy. This builds trust. And trust leads to massive influence.
In my brand new book, just released in the past week or two, called Relationship Rules I talk about the importance of building trust in our relationships. It’s at the heart of our ability to influence our children.
Trust is the belief that you will always act in my best interests. And we need those we love to believe that. They must know that we would never ask them to do something that is not in their best interests.
In Relationship Rules, rule number 5 (build trust) says:
The Great Blondin, Jean-Francois Gravelet, was the first person to traverse Niagara Falls on a tightrope. After multiple crossings over a period of years he piggy-backed his manager, Harry Colcord, from one side of the falls to the other.
He said to him, “Look up Harry. You are no longer Colcord. You are Blondin. Until I clear this place be a part of me, mind, body, and soul. If I sway, sway with me. Do not attempt to do any balancing yourself. If you do, we will both go to our death.”
They survived crossing Niagara Falls on a tightrope, Harry Colcord holding tight to Blondin’s back.
Do the people that matter most to you – your family – trust you like that? Are they holding tight, believing that you will only try to help them achieve what is in their best interest? Do they trust you enough to metaphorically ‘climb on your back and traverse the falls of life’?
Relationship Rules is my fifth book. It’s simple, short, and designed to give you instant relationship inspiration to deal with the trickiest – and the happiest – of times. It contains 85 relationship rules to help your close, personal relationships thrive and flourish.