Relationships that are long-lasting allow us to build a history together. We get to share life and experience, and those past experiences build a narrative that underpins how our relationship feels moving forward into the future.
Dr John Gottman, a world expert in relationships, has explained that when a relationship is in turmoil and headed for disaster, people re-write their relationship history with a focus on all of the problems and difficulties they’ve experienced. They use those challenges to justify why things are so bad.
Relationship masters tell the story of their relationship by describing all of the joy and wonder they’ve experienced together.
For your connection challenge today, drag out some photo albums (or photo album files if everything is digital) and find two or three favourite memories of times shared with your teen daughter. Invite her to sit with you while you share a treat and show her each photo. Reminisce together about the joy you shared. And let the conversation wonder to other memories. Savour your good times. Indulge. Go slow. Talk. Laugh. Reflect. (And building on Day 1 and Day 2, maybe you could touch while you connect.)